Friday, December 3, 2010

Trapped

 
She felt trapped in this grey November day and trapped in this life.  The black, heavy clouds pressed down upon her like the lead vest at the dentist's office rendering her limbs heavy and clumsy.  The dentist's office was a memory from another lifetime, one in which she could afford such things as dentists.  She wielded her tattered umbrella like a prescription for Prozac in an effort to protect herself against the persistent droplets of misery that dampened her threadbare coat and her failing spirits.  She plodded along, her head down, trying, unsuccessfully, to avoid the puddles.  The water seeped into her boots through holes that were put there by previous feet, feet that belonged to people whose toes were probably dry right now, having had the luxury to exchange the holey boots for a new pair.  She didn't usually succumb to feelings of self-pity such as those that were seeping into her thoughts today but the weather was getting to her, making an already impossible situation worse.  She just hoped for a little sunshine.  Things always looked better through the filter of sunlight.  She stepped off the curb and onto the street, her head still down.  The sound of a blaring car horn startled her and her head snapped up just in time to see the startled face of the man driving the grey car as it pummeled into her.  

She awoke in a state of confusion.  There were people moving above her, shouting words that she couldn't understand.  She listened to them from a distance.  She tried to open her eyes, just a crack, but closed them again right away because the bright light above her was shining directly into them.  Her last thought as she drifted back into a deep peaceful sleep, a little smile touching the corners of her mouth, was that she was warm and everything was okay now because the sun was shining again.



 We had two different options this week at Little Red Writing Hood: write flash fiction based on the prompt "Trapped" or "I truly enjoyed spending time with them. I just had to decide which of them I would kill." 

Check out The Red Dress Club here to see the other posts that were inspired by these prompts.

9 comments:

Cheryl said...

I liked this. An interesting, melancholy character for sure.

Kim said...

This was well written. I really sensed depression and you are so right that it is like being trapped. Visiting from RDC.

Erin said...

Oh wow. I definitely got drawn into that depression...nice job!

Nancy C said...

I loved the lines about Prozac and the lead apron...yes! It captures the relentless darkness of depression.

Allison said...

I too, like the line about Prozac. Very apt.

Kim at Let Me Start By Saying said...

I felt it, I really did.
If I may suggest one thing? It would be easier to read if it weren't one huge paragraph (though that may be intentional?).
Still, that was so colorful...in a gray way. :)
Came from the TL&TLB linky.

Kelly said...

Kim - I agree with you. I wrote this quite some time ago and when I reread it today, I was wondering why I had made that paragraph so long. Not sure. Thanks for the suggestion.

jesterqueen.com said...

I loved the ways you used the trap. First, she was trapped by her situation and the weather, but then, she was trapped by her injuries. That second trap felt less painful for her because she was warm. How utterly poetic.

Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy said...

The emotions here were so heavy, so real. I felt the weight of her depression and of her sadness...and what could have been a tragic ending you made into one filled with light and promise.

Thanks for linking this up!